Wednesday 21 March 2012

366 in 366

Film No. 40 Heathers
classic, absolutely love this film, clever, well acted and painfully funny
Film No. 41 Fools Rush In
very very average rom com, saved by a wonderful turn by the quite striking salma heyak.
Film No. 42 The Long Kiss Goodnight
mindless and quite frankly ridiculous action film about a supposedly dead spy with amnesia.
the only thing is it works, brilliantly! samuel l jakcson is the perfect comic foil to geena davis`s recovering spy killing machine. over the top stunts, lots of explosions and some cracking dialogue elevate this above a lot of other bad hollywood action junk.
Film No. 43 Childs Play
the first of the highly controversial series of slasher films about the possessed doll who kills his owners family.
before the humour of the later films kicked in this was pitched as a straight forward horror, and it succeeds for the most part, the only downside is that with the humour of the later films being such a strong point in their appeal, and despite some very inventive deaths this still feels a bit flat in comparison.
Film No. 44 The Breed
bland and uninspiring vampire film about a vampire conspiracy to overtake the world, is there any other vamp films being made these days?
Film No. 45 Dr No
classic bond that set the standard and sooo many of the traditions for the series to follow.
and of course THAT bikini!
Film No. 46 Buried
ryan reynolds buried in a box in the desert, for an hour and a half. will he get out? why is he there?
do any of us care?
nope didnt think so either. its a shame really because the last 20 minutes of this film are exceptionally well put together, its just a shame the first 70 minutes are awful.
Film No. 47 The History Boys
awful, just plain awful.
the acting was great but this overly pretentious story is just so so so so boring, add in the acceptance of a kiddy fiddling teacher?!?!?!? and its all just a little odd and uncomfortable.

Friday 3 February 2012

366 in 366

Film No.31 The Benchwarmers
another average and predictable american comedy that relies heavily on toilet humour and people getting hit by bats and balls, not great but a few good laughs and quite easy to watch
Film No. 32 The House That Dripped Blood
four different stories all involving people disappearing whilst living in the same eerie looking house. some classic actors involved and it works really well, cucshing,lee,pertwee and ingrid pitt all have a great time and make a good chilling selection of tales.
Film No 33 Twins of Evil
playboy playmates make the move from taking their clothes off to taking their clothes off dressed as goths in the british countryside! nothing outstanding going on here, but nothing terrible either, just a very meh hammer horror.
Film No. 34 Sky Blue
a cgi film rendered to look celll shaded, and it works, brilliantly, this film is a wondrous feast for the eyes, the plot is all over the place with flashbacks and dream sequences but its near impossible to take your eyes off the screen that you dont really notice the plot and just watch with wonder.
Film No.35 Carry On Doctor
set in a hospital, cheeky nurses and lots of wink wink nudge nudge humour, same old.
Film No.36 Carry On Again Doctor
see above!
Film No.37 Carry On At Your Convenience
a rare attempt at satire from the carry on team. didnt really work as after trying to make a vague point it just descends into random bouncing boobs and small outfits for the girls and a guy getting spanked by his mum outside a toilet factory.
Film No.38 Carry On Follow That Camel
awful, for some reason they drag phil silvers (bilko) into this french foreign legion spoof, awful awful, awful!
Film No.39 Carry On Matron
another hospital one, but with a slightly more bonkers idea about a set of crooks trying to steal a wedge of contraceptive pills from a maternity hospital. with more of the classic cast present than some of the other later films in the series and some great set pieces, this is definitely one of the better films in the series.

Tuesday 17 January 2012

366 in 366

number 26. carry on screaming
cracking hammer horror send up, great sets, cheap and nasty FX but still wonderfully funny
number 27. carry on cruising
not the best in the series but far from the worst, a few good giggles here and there
number 28. carry on abroad
one of the weaker entries in the long running series, set of holiday makers go to a half finished hotel in spain, the jokes are thin on the ground and some sections or truly cringe-worthy
number 29. carry on dont lose your head
effectively the scarlet pimpernel story, but substituted in is the black fingernail aka sir rodney effing, with more jokes than any other carry on and with almost all of them hitting the right spot this is easily one of the best films in the series
number 30. carry on loving
shameless and tacky late entry in the series, as the innuendo and cheeky humour faded away and was replaced with cheap smut and sleaze the series stopped being funny and just became embarrassing.

Sunday 15 January 2012

366 in 366

number 23.paul
pretty much a film based on roger from american dad, not brilliant by any means but raised a good few giggles here and there.
number 24. the matrix
without a doubt one of the best and one of the most influential action films in recent history. the FX were out of this world and yes they have been mocked and imitated all over the place but they still took your breath away the first time you saw the assault and freeing of morpheus. absolutely blinding film.
number 25. despicable me
a true delight from start to finish, yes i know its a kids film but meh i love this film from start to finish, it just never fails to put a smile on my face.

Friday 13 January 2012

number 18. jack brooks:monster slayer
cheap and cheerful monster movie about a plumber with anger issues duffing the hell out of monsters at his local community college, good giggle.
number 19. slap her, she`s french
a truly awful comedy, mainly because its not funny and none of the characters are even slightly likeable. bad acting combined with horrendously xenophobic jokes forming the basis of the alleged comedy, no thanks.
number 20. life as we know it
predictable rom-com. a pair of friends inherit their best friends baby with they die in a car crash, will the presence of the toddler make them see past their differences and fall in love? its a hollywood rom-com what the hell do you think happens! a few good jokes here and there and a not too smushy ending keep this just about in the average pile but nothing special.
number 21. rampage
annoying little muppet goes ona killing spree after he feels the world has pushed him around too much. typical of americans to think they can solve their problems through violence. but n its that douche uwe boll who is responsible for this monstrosity. trying soo hard shoehorn in some weak and insulting social commentary along the way this film is just a mess from start to finish.
number 22. penance
religious nut kidnaps and tortures strippers in an attempt to purify them for their acsension to heaven. needlessly attempting to be titalating for the first 20 minutes and then wandering off into some bizarre mix of saw and hostel, there isnt an original idea in this film anywhere. do not waste your time on it.

Wednesday 11 January 2012

366 in 366

number 13. dr jekyll and sister hyde
a nice twist on the standard jekyll/hyde story with instead of a raging monster he turn into a rampant horny chick instead! good work hammer for keeping 70`s horror mental!
number 14. countess dracula
the story of countess elizabeth bathory brought to the silver screen. and yet again hammer nail it, they strike gold with putting the stunning ingrid pitt in the lead role and throwing blood and suggestion all over the place!
number 15. 7 day (canadian)
awful revenge thriller, all it really amounts to is a bloke kidnaps the paedo who rapes and kills his daughter and tortures the guy for 7 days.
in all honesty it feels like a (somehow) even duller version of saw or hostel, a truly terrible film.
number 16. donkey punch
dear god this is a truly terrible film, bad idea,poor acting and annoying characters who are so unlikable you really dont care who lives or dies and just wish the boat would blow up and end the film early.
number 17. the dukes of hazzard
not gonna lie i actually quite liked this!
yes its not a brilliant film but it was very very very very easy to watch, the time passed very quickly and knoxville and william-scott bounce off each other well.
game on to them as well for pretty much making a long episode of the show and not trying to do too much with the format!

Sunday 8 January 2012

366 in 366

number 7. the masque of the red death
classic hammer looking edgar allen poe film, part of the corman/price collection of films from the 60`s. creepy and violent in equal measure.
number 8. inseminoid
a truly poor and vulgar sci-fi horror from the 80`s. swiping equal parts from alien and demon seed but with more skin on display in the needless and tasteless rape/insemination scene. avoid this boring and ugly film.
number 9. inception
high on concept and swish in delivery but with most of the visual ideas being too heavily borrowed from the matrix along with an unhealthy amount of the plot, add in a predictable ending and its horrendously overlong run time and i failed to see what all the fuss is about.
number 10. tekken
the live action version from 2009, my god this was awful. the action was poor, the acting was worse and the direction was predictable, the story was poorly told and very mundane, this makes dead or alive look like citizen kane in comparison.
number 11. fist of fury
classic bruce lee, but as with alot of his early work yes he is as amazing as always, but the terrible dubbing(which in this film he sounds like a bad john wayne impression) and bad stories cant pick up the slack inbetween the exceptional fight scenes.
number 12. the goonies
a childhood classic that should have stayed there, as its only from watching this film as an adult that you notice some of the truly terrible continuity errors and the insane amount of product placement!

Friday 6 January 2012

366 in 366

well its another new year and that means its time to start a fresh film viewing challenge!
its pretty much the same one as last year except that with this year being a leap year it means i gotta try and squeeze in an extra film!
but after failing badly last year im gonna give it another try this year, hopefully with better results.

No.1. return to horror high
a supposed horror spoof that was in fact just a bad horror film hoping it was gonna fall into the so bad its good category, unfortunately it was just bad.
No.2. Hellraiser
classic, shame it was ruined by too many sequels, i think they are upto 8 now and a remake on the way too!
No.3. Hellbound:Hellraiser II
speak of the devil! but in fairness this one at least starts well with a gloomy oppressive atmosphere controlling the first half of the film, it all goes a little silly and over the top towards the end and it pretty much ruins all the good effort the first half of the film went to great lengths to do!
No.4. Treasure Island
i guess a tv movie technically but this 4 hour monster production was great fun, and a wonderfully faithful retelling of a classic story.
No.5. Hellraiser III:Hell on Earth
its here that bad fetishsm and tacky latex start to overtake anything resembling a story in the hellraiser universe.
with some better special effects and a noticably higher budget than the second film (amazing really all things considered) it fails to create any atmosphere other than cheap exploitation and pointless perverted thrills.
No.6. Black Christmas
apparently a classic and fore runner of the slasher genre.
fore runner obviously since it was made in 1974! but the bare bones of the genre it inspired were perfected in much much better films than this!
add in a truly rubbish ending with no real conclusion to the story and its a very disappointing watch.